What Defines You?
Just back from Siggraph 2008 in Los Angeles. It was a good trip. I met lots of great people and caught up with friends I haven’t seen in a while. I really enjoyed the Pixar Story Masterclass, it was really well put together and made me think about the stories we are trying to tell at RFX. The Reel FX MOHO (motor home) this year was a success. Joey, Dap, and the rest pulled off a great event. Thanks guys!
While in the “city of Angels” this past week I began to ponder something I am reminded of on occasion. Siggraph is a place you get to see some amazing work. So many talented artists gather and celebrate the work of other talented artists. All these artists have diverse backgrounds, gifts, and things in their life that brought them to this point. As fantastic as their work is, what else do I know about the people who made it? All I see is their artistic expression…the final result on the big screen.
I would say this is the case in a lot of industries/professions. Think of professional athletes. We watch them on TV, celebrate their fantastic talent of scoring touchdowns, hitting homeruns, etc. But at the end of the day, we know very little about them as people. I am a huge Dallas Cowboys fan, but I couldn’t tell you very much at all about who the “real” Emmitt Smith is. I can only tell you what the media portrayed, and the perception I have of who Emmitt Smith might be. By all accounts he seems like a nice guy, but for all I know he could be an ego maniac. And that is the root of the question I posed for this blogpost, “What Defines You?”
You’ve heard the term, “you are what you eat”. As funny as that sounds, many many people in our society hold a similar view of their career and life, “you are what you do”. They attach their identity and life to their occupation, money they make, clothes they wear, car they drive, house they live in…all external things. It is this external “image” of who they are that everyone sees and slowly becomes the perception. Overtime, this perception feeds on itself until one day no one, not even the individual, knows who they really are. They become this “thing” that walks around defined by the perception of what they can do or buy or drive. Not who they really are.
Society will often overlook the worst kinds of character flaws, if someone has talent. Arrogance, greed, dishonesty, negativity, cold, hatefulness. Not only are these tolerated, but they often will be given special treatment, huge amounts of money, and stature. From that point, the perception of talent or money becomes the overriding factor in how they are viewed and who people think they are. We associate talent, money, or fame with the idea that they must also be good people. Interesting isn’t it?
Think through history for a moment. Think of Presidents, Famous Athletes, Movie Stars, or even someone like Walt Disney. The history books are often very kind to them, and we may never actually get to know who these people really were. We know they had gifts, and talent, and “did” something considered great. If we were to go back in time and ask those around them who worked with them (or lived with them), we may get a very different story.
In contrast to this, I think of someone like my grandmother. Without question my grandmother is the greatest person I have ever known. No one has ever heard of my grandmother. She was never on TV or the internet, and only was mentioned in a newspaper for her obituary. She wasn’t a doctor, lawyer, entertainer, actor, artist, politician, or athlete. She was a homemaker. She raised 4 children. She spoke very softly. I never once heard her raise her voice. She helped everyone she came in contact with. She opened her home to everyone and fed the homeless. She would wait on people hand and foot, actually not allowing people to get up to do anything. She just wanted everyone to sit and relax. She would cry when she heard of someone getting hurt, getting cancer, or dying. She gave and donated the little money she had to people in need. Her heart was more tender than you can imagine. She loved her husband, she loved her kids, and grandkids…she loved everyone. At her funeral, we all talked about how special she was. And someone mentioned that they had never heard her say anything bad about another human being. The rest of room all started to think, and literally could not recall ever hearing her utter a bad word about anyone her entire life. Think about that for a second...
My grandmother will never be written about in history books. She never enjoyed fame or fortune while on this earth. She never “did” anything the world deems as important or newsworthy. But that is ok, because none of that stuff really matters in the long run…that isn’t what defined her. She wasn’t great because of a perception of talents or money she possessed, but great because of who she was. And because of that, I will honor her by naming my first born after her. And I will teach my children and grandchildren about her. My hope is that they grow up and be more like her and teach their children about her.
In the past I have mentioned this idea to some of my co-workers. It is extremely easy to take work too seriously. I am guilty of it for sure. I love my job. I can get so passionate about it that I will work many more hours than I care to admit. And it is in those moments I have to remind myself that my work, career, and this industry do not define who I am. I mean, what are they going to do at my funeral…show my demoreel and credit list? Give me a break. My hope is that they might be able to say half of what they said about my grandmother at her funeral. That is a lofty goal indeed.
So the question is, what defines you? Is it your job, your money, your car, your house, or something else? How about not letting those things define you, but rather the way you treat your family, friends, and strangers be what defines you. After all, isn’t who you are inside what is really most important in this life?
But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." - 1 Samuel 16:7
